Thursday, July 27, 2006

Man Laws 101

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

Just so that we all understand the rules, read them again!

Friday, July 21, 2006

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs

Attn: Entrepeneurs

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Valve Announces Development For Xbox 360

Valve®, a leading entertainment and technology studio, is pleased to announce development of future game releases for the Xbox 360™ video game and entertainment system from Microsoft.

The coming titles will be powered by a customized version of SourceTM, the technology that powered Valve’s Half-Life® 2. Source provides state of the art performance in graphics, networking, artificial intelligence, physics simulation and more.

“The combination of Source and the 360 provides game designers the chance to create powerful entertainment experiences,” said Gabe Newell, president and co-founder of Valve. “Whether developing a traditional FPS, RTS, RPG or delving into new genres, the Xbox 360 is a great platform for expanding Source and our game experiences.”

The Valve 360 products are being designed to leverage the Xbox 360’s advanced graphics hardware and integration with Xbox Live® online game service.

… Halo, GTA and Half-Life all for the Xbox 360.. Need I say more?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Me as a South Park Character

A friend here at work sent this link to me. It is how to make your own South Park character. There are many options that you can select, such as features, colors, items, clothes, background, and style. This is how I would look, if I was a character in South Park.

Make your own and enjoy.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean II - Dead man’s Chest

This weekend, I saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. My parents had the kids over so Liz and I could actually see a movie in a movie theater and when it is new and still fresh. So here is the review… Johnny Depp is as funny as ever playing the part of the gay pirate. Okay, Captain Jack Sparrow is not actually gay, more Bi… But, that is part of his charm. I will try not to spoil it for anyone that has not seen the movie yet. That will be an entry for later. It is full of action, plot twists, and flair. It is well worth the money to see this movie and Yes, I will be buying this one when it comes out. However, it is not as good as the first. But, there were not expectations for the orgininal. This one went in with HIGH expectations and only fell a little short. I have high hopes for the third one. Oh, and you will want to sit through all of the credits, there is a little funny at the very end.

For those who have seen the movie… I wonder what “mark” he left on Mr. Beckett. -Say no more!

Day of Defeat - Source

This past weekend, Valve had a free weekend to download and play DOD-Source. This is the Day of Defeat Mod built from the Half-Life 2 engine. The graphics are stunning, some new maps (well, new to me), and game play is what you would expect from a Half Life 2 Mod. I played quite a bit this weekend, ignoring the wife and kids.. Which is not so good. So, if you plan on purchasing this game be advised that it is a total time suck. But, well worth it. AND it will only cost you a Mr. Jackson to continue the onslaught of Allies vs. Axis. But, you have to ask yourself this question..

Half-Life 2 – Episode One OR Day of Defeat – Source… Two great games – Same Price.

See you there – verylost

Friday, July 07, 2006

Evils of the Night (1985)

A trio of aliens (John Carradine, Julie Newmar and Tina Louise) visits Earth on a quest for teen flesh, hoping to use it to create a youth serum. To help them with the diabolical scheme, they bribe two dim-bulb mechanics (Neville Brand and Aldo Ray) to stalk and kidnap a group of randy adolescents. Director Mardi Rustam's sci-fi thriller mixes the slasher-in-the-woods genre with the classic alien invader theme -- and the film is so bad it's good.

Let me begin by saying that I enjoy ‘B’ flicks and had no real expectations for this movie. Well, it did not even live up to that. This movie is really bad. The acting is horrid, the effects that were not pirated from another show (original Battlestar Galactica) were just down right dumb, and there was no plot, they say there is one, but I couldn't find it... “And the point of this is…??? What???” For those looking for nudity, there is some, but it is not even worth the effort. Nothing short a match could save this movie.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Day of Defeat

Years ago, I used to play this Half life mod. I forgot how much fun this game actually was. I was on Steam and noticed that I had DOD available for HL2. So, I set it up and played for a few hours on Friday night. It took a few games to get back into the swing of things and not knowing the maps was a bit of a hindrance. But, I managed to hold my own for a bit. There were a lot of people (kids) that did not like the fact that I just charge like them. I am sorry, but I don’t play like that. I much rather play a sniper or lay down suppressing fire for my team mates. On one map this guy and I took up a cross-fire position with some .50 cals and cleaned house. I think that I scored about 40 kills and he did almost 50. Another time, these two guys and myself charged into the enemy’s lines and I dropped down and unloaded with this belt-fed machine gun. Talk about fun… at least for me…

See you online…